Today was the day

So today was another trying day in my life, another one of my friends left school for the semester and won't be coming back until the next one or the one after that. I mean 1st John left and now Cristen. How many more are going to leave.

This just breaks my heart that my class which is so small to begin with is getting smaller week by week, well not really but we did loose 2 people in about a weeks time.

So as i sit in my room procrastinating on some deep homework, I think to myself that reflection is on its way again. And the questions that role around in my head are those like "Why I am I going to New Tribes Bible Institute?" "What is it that is my end goal?" "Do I see myself in missions?" "Will my being a student here make any difference at all?" and the big one "Can I support myself through another year and half of Bible School?"

And the funny thing is while revaulating everything in the last week, no i can't support myself, I don't know if being a student here is going to make any difference, no i don't see myself going into missions, but i do see myself supporting missionaries, maybe by teaching their kids in the MK schools. My end goal, well I needed to be reminded of it the other day and that is to grow and deepen my relationship with My God who is the God of the Universe, who is, who was and who is yet to come, That has been my goal all a long. And then why am I putting myself through two years of Bible school? Well that is probably the simplest of all, I am here at NTBI because this is were God wants me, and frankly who am i to argue.

So if you think of it be praying for me, that my focus comes back into sight/that i won't become discouraged and give in by quitting and no matter what happens that I will do what my God wants me to.