So in the last 24 hrs I have been comtiplating the facts of what I am to be doing, what I would like to be doing and what I really don't want to do.
So I Know I am to continue on with the New Tribes Bible Institute training, The question is I am I to go on to the rest of the training?? I mean I can see myself there but not right after the Bible Training. But still it would be cool.
Then there is what I would like to do or at least I think I would... I want to go into teaching Special Ed, preschool thru 12th grade. I have done it before and I really enjoyed it; it was like second nature but really tiring and well it took a lot of strength of mind to get through the day, But not as hard as being a nanny, well emotionally that is.
But then again teaching is my plan, but I am not sure that it is God's plan for my life, recently I have been thinking teaching, but not teaching here in the States, but teaching over seas somewere maybe like Africa, or in Japan and even in Europe some place but I am at a complete stand still besides, NTBI and summer camp.
Also I have so many worries and concerns. One of those worries is that when I go home to Seattle this summer for a week in the middles of August, that will be my last trip home for a number of years, more than 1. And frankly that scares me beyond anything and my nerves about not going home for a couple of years is just terrifing... because right now I want to be home so much that it hurts... I miss the air the trees the mountains the beauty of Washington that you can't find in the mid-west and you can't find in the east or in the south, it is a beauty of the Northwest and those from there or who have been there know it is true. But most of all I miss my mom, my family and the familulaity of it all.
SIGH!But I have to remember that right now what I am doing, it is not about me, IT IS ALL ABOUT GOD AND HOW HE IS WORKING,with that in mind, worrying about the next time I will get to go home just seems silly to me. Because I know God will provide a way if it is his will and what a joyess day it will be.